...34 weeks

I love comparing this pregnancy to my others. With my first, we were oh-so prepared. Every article of clothing was washed and hung by size and color. The blankets were cleverly rolled and displayed on her perfect little shelf. Her crib was set up and decorated months in advanced with her one-of-a-kind bedding made by my mother. The toys were in place, the carseat installed and her little take home outfit from The Gap was packed two months before her expected arrival. I remember the excitment as I peeked into the her empty room. The anticipation! I'd sit on my new glider and dream of rocking her.

Things are different with baby #3. We are still just as excited, but I don't have the time I used to. No napping, no relaxing; I have other children now. The take-home outfit is unpurchased...and may end up being a hand-me-down from his big brother. The car seat is somewhere in storage. We have not chosen a name.

But, we are still just as excited. Last night, my husband and I entertained ourselves by watching my belly contort and move. We wondered what new personality this babe will bring into our home. I thought with excitement of what life will be like in a month; holding a little babe in my arms.

I am also thinking about my son's cousin, Michael, whose life was shortened by a heart condition. Michael passed away last Friday, and our whole family is mourning with his parents. He will always be missed, especially by his mother and father. His little life made me reevaluate my own. I no longer find a need to complain about this pregnancy; I am thankful for every kick and prod. They let me know that my babe is healthy and strong. Michael made me rethink my parenting. I want to be kinder, more patient, and to enjoy every moment with my sweet little ones. Michael truly touched our lives for the better, just by being born. We love him and his sweet family. I'm so grateful to be his aunt.


  1. This was so touching... I know exactly how you feel. I am also an aunt to a little nephew who passed all too soon. He had a birth abnormality and we lost him at 24 weeks. I also went to school with Jer and have followed their story. How touching...! I feel the same way I deeply love our sweet Gabrielle Jacob and I think of him everyday and what joy he has brought to my life. Good luck with your up coming bundle of joy. I really love reading your blog.

  2. Wow....what an amazing story. I am so sorry for your family's loss. I cannot image.

  3. What a sweet & touching post. Thanks for taking the time to share.

  4. Beautiful way to put it. I'm am with you... and so blessed to have a kicking babe in my belly. My heart goes out to your family, I'm sure there is much aching going on. I'm sorry for your families loss. My last pregnancy didn't make it until the end, and there are just no words.

    I'm pregnant again now, and this will be my second child. After what happened before, I remember being grateful for morning sickness, which I'd never had before! Life is truly precious.

    This pregnancy is truly different. I'm at 30 weeks today, and by this time in the first pregnancy, my daughter's room was ready to go. With this one, we've just not got the room painted... but I guess at least we have a name :) We had it since before we became pregnant, so I guess that doesn't count, haha.


  5. i had no idea you were related to hilary. we worked together in rexburg and served together in a singles ward when our husbands got callings in the ward. small world. so tough to go through.

    was sooooooooo ready for my first. with this one i've done NOTHING, NADA, zilch, zero. ok, that's a lie. i did buy her a two pack of purple/pink mam pacifiers and a stuffed animal binky thing that i got for my son online and loved. he has the monkey. i bought her the panda. oh, and did just take back brennan's christmas shoes to the gymboree outlet in provo and exchanged them for two little coats for her last thursday. for some reason i feel like the time is going by faster the more i put things off. as long as we have a carseat and the binkies we should be good to go...now about getting that car seat out of my mom's garage...


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