Why Hello! It’s me, Hannah. And I miss writing. I used to write for myself all the time. I have mountains of old journals that I filled out over the years. And then I started this blog and that all went kaput!
A few years later, I decided I didn’t want to blog anymore. I posted a big dramatic “see-ya later” post and closed Sherbet Blossom’s doors. That was almost 5 years ago, and I really haven't written much since. I still don’t want to blog like I used to. My camera and I were attached at the hip. My kids couldn’t do anything cute without me telling them to “halt!” while I took a picture. And everything was over the top so that I could post about it on the blog. (Funfetti birthday cakes – UNTHINKABLE! I couldn’t post the recipe! But now, my kids have enjoyed many a boxed cake with no remorse on my part.) Let’s face it...I don’t have time to live that way anymore. Kiddos are now ruling the roost and ain’t nobody got time for being fancy. Except this little lady on her blessing day. Oh. My. Goodness. I could just die over her cute face!
Since having baby number 5 last September, I have been asked more times than I can count what it’s like to have a family of 7. Well, let me tell ya! It feels pretty normal. It’s doable. It’s wonderful. I remember fondly having only one child and feeling overwhelmed with how “hard” it was. So, your perspective changes. It’s now a dream to go shopping with only two kids, but back when I had only two, I wouldn’t have dreamed of taking them shopping with me! You figure out how to mother easier, how to do it more efficiently, and maybe you cool your beans just a tad. I’m not as uptight. And I expect less perfection. Which is a little more perfect.
Having 5 kids means that there is always somewhere to be, someone to hug, someone who needs to be disciplined, and someone to sooth. We’re either laughing or crying around here. It means that the littles have older siblings to look to and admire. It means that I have a built in babysitter (woohoo!), which means that I have a little more freedom! I can actually hand the baby off to my daughter and go to the bathroom alone! And I shower on the regular now. (It’s the little things.)
Five kids means that there is a whole lot of love and a whole lot of laundry. Seriously. The Never Ending Story should have been about laundry. We always have a pile of clean clothes to be folded or to be washed somewhere.
My large family taught me to stop worrying about myself. I have too many people to look after to take time to compare myself to anyone else. They taught me to appreciate the simple things. Because simple is often the better way. Sometimes Chuck-E-Cheese is better than an over-the-top, Pinterested-out birthday party. It may not be pin-able, but it’s good for the mom’s sanity and the kids seem to like it more. Just sayin’. Lesson learned. (Boxed cake = good. Chuck E Cheese = good. My former, blogging self would have died.)
When I think about my large family, my heart feels like it could burst. It’s what I always wanted; to be surrounded by kids. I love being a mom, and my heart seems to grow more and more as our family grows. Getting them all here was a struggle. We dealt with secondary infertility and with pregnancy loss. My last baby came during a month that I told my husband, “Let’s try one more time. Then I’m done.” Dealing with losing so many babies and having so many negative pregnancy tests was too heartbreaking for me. But she came. And now I feel complete.
Most of all, my family has made me closer to my Heavenly Father. I couldn’t do it without prayer and scripture study. I listen to General Conference everyday while I make dinner and always feel like I hear something new that could help me that day. My days are lighter when I read my scriptures. My courage in motherhood stronger when I pray every morning. My kids have made me rely on someone greater than I to make it through each day. And God has helped me to love my children even more.
I feel so blessed. It may be a chaotic, crazy life that Jason and I chose, but it's a wonderful life.